Is This a Mid-Life Crisis or Just a Really Bad Economy?

I'm a social worker. That has been my identity for a very long time. I went to college and then straight through to graduate school. I got a job in child welfare right out of graduate school. I worked at that agency for 11 years and I loved it. I worked 60 hour weeks and had a private therapy job a couple nights a weeks also.

When I adopted my oldest daughter, I had to change my lifestyle. As her behavior and emotional problems increased, my work schedule had to be modified. (Bea still talks about how great it was to come to my office and take a nap and then play in the play room. What she doesnt remember is that she was kicked out of school on those days and I had to go pick her up from school and bring her back to my office.) In 1999, I quit the child welfare job and began my own private practice. Working in private practice was great. I set my schedule around the needs of my family. I was working part time and making enough money for my family to live on while at the same time, spending a good amount of time home with the kids.

Unfortunately, I am not a good marketer of my services. I had a few contracts with agencies to provide therapy to their clients. I had a few private paying clients. However, the majority of my clients were seen under a contract I hold with the State. When the economy tanked, so did my payments from the State. Initially, I recieved payment for my services about every 8 weeks. It was fairly predictable and I was able to make ends meet under that payment schedule. However, over the past several years, the time between month worked and payment received increased drastically. I am currently getting paid for work I did about 8 months ago and I never know when the State may send me a payment. When I do recieve a payment, it is for 1 month of service, not the total amount owed. Thus, I have had to work a full time job and not count on my work in the private practice. I have had to drastically reduce the amount of time I spend providing services to the State clients because I have to pay a babysitter for that time and do not have the income coming in to support that.

Last fall, I lost my full time job. Since then, I have sent many, many resumes out to apply for jobs. I have had 1 interview and I did not get that job. I have to be honest and admit that I am struggling. Am I unemployable? Do they look at my resume and see all my years of experience and think they cannot afford me? Is my experience too specialized and I have pigeon-holed myself in one career option? Do I really want to be a social worker anymore? I have a masters degree and no marketable skills, what else can I do?

I have greatly enjoyed being home with the kids during this time. I never thought I would want to be a stay at home mom but now I could see myself in that role. I can see the benefits in the kids. The house is much calmer. The kids are all doing well and frequently tell me that they are happy I am home more now. Unfortunately, we cant live on no income.

I enjoy selling on Ebay but that will not support us either. I would love to open a resale shop but that would take capital that I do not have. I have a couple of ideas for new inventions but no way to finance those either. I would love to start my own business, something that would provide the kids with summer jobs when they are older.

Is this a mid life crisis? Would I really be thinking of alternative careers if I were gainfully employed. I know God has a plan for me. I pray that He will show me His plan soon.